Project # 2 revised draft- Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Renae Oxford
Comp 1000
Project # 2- creative myth
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
In our society today, many people hold this popular belief or myth that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”; but does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Where do we get this idea about absence making the heart grow fonder? Does being apart or out of the presence of someone makes the heart desire them, or care for them more? Did this idea arise from experience or is it mere opinion? The web defines this phrase as "the time spent away from the one you love makes you love that person even more" Is this really true? Let’s explore this phrase even more.
One may argue that being away from someone causes the heart to long for them, as in the case of a loved one or a spouse, being separated from them might bring a feeling of loneliness, longing and desire. Separation causes you to desire your loved one even more than you might have before, therefore you try to find pleasure in what is present, your heart seeks satisfaction in the moments that you and your loved one shared together, you reminisce on past events, holidays, activities shared with that person; you remember how you felt just being with that person, how they made you smile and at that point in time you might even appreciate the arguments you might have had in times past. This makes the heart grow fonder as the days go by. You wish to see them more and more and finally when you are able to be in the presence of that spouse once more, your heart becomes satisfied by them being present, the gap that was caused by separation is suddenly filled, you’re happy and alive again. Your relationship even improves, because of the separation.
In another example with a parent and a child who are constantly at each other`s throat, the fighting never stops and the child longs to be away from the parent. They wish to have independence from the parent`s authority. They finally receive that freedom to be on their own but suddenly it seems, that is not what they really wanted. They now realize that being under the parent`s rule was not so bad after all. They suddenly accept the fact that the parent`s authority was important to shape their future in a positive direction, they long to be with the parent once more and doesn’t mind being under their authority. Absence has made them fonder of that parent; but do you suppose that it would have been good if that child received the chance to be with the parent once more? In that case the fighting might have begun yet again and we could only conclude that living apart from that parent makes the child appreciate them, in other words fond of them. I f the child did in fact move back in with the parent and things were better, we could still conclude that absence brought about that change; the time spent away from the parent allowed the child a chance to realize how much they do in fact care. Absence doesn’t always bring about this positive change however; it doesn’t always make the heart grow fonder of the person absent. Let’s explore another side of this myth.
In the case of the spouse or loved one, the situation could have been totally different. The partner might have realized that being apart from their spouse is just what they needed, this might have been the once in a lifetime opportunity they have waited for to have their own space, they might have seen this as a freedom opportunity to do what they have always wanted to do without having to hear objections from their spouse. They may have even taken this as a party time, a time to hang out with their friends, a time to even be disloyal to their spouse. They might have never gotten the opportunity to enjoy this freedom before; therefore they make use of every passing minute spent away from their spouse. They are totally elated to have this time away from the confines of a partner. When the spouse returns, conflict erupts because of the simple fact that they are disappointed that they are within their partner`s presence once more and they aren’t able to do the things that they were capable of doing while the significant other was away. In this case, absence might have made the heart grow fonder, but not of the spouse. The word “fond” in itself means “having a strong liking, inclination or affection”. So we could say that the spouse grew fond of the pleasures they experienced while the spouse was away.
As with the parent and child, living apart from the parent might have been great satisfaction for the child. As with the case of t he spouse, they might have received the opportunity to do what they weren’t able to do in the presence of the parent. The parents` confines are gone; they have the chance to be independent, making their own decision, not being mindful of the parent. Being absent might have even caused problems for the parent and child relationship. Once again, the child is fond of things they are able to experience way from the parent.
In any case, one might have grown accustomed to being away from the person, whoever it might have been, the heart is not fond of them, because they have accepted the fact that they are away. There is no longing, they don’t care for or appreciate them anymore than they did before, and in fact they might even care less. The separation gap is widened as the time goes on, the only things they are fond of, are things done away from each other.
Overall we may conclude that this phrase is partly true in most cases, while absence might make the heart grow fonder , the real question one should ask is who or what does it grow fonder of ?.